Dedicated to Whomever, Hotspur decides to show a true Mary Sue that red doesn't mean communism but Ozai-ism! Thankfully, Stalin doesn't come in to help defend the Sue or Hotspur would be spending Gulag time!
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THE GUNFIRE AROUND us makes it hard to hear. --
Hotspur: No, just the sound of laughter. Mostly directed at this fic.
But the human voice is different from other sounds.
Hotspur: The sound of this human's voice is far more annoying.
It can be heard over noises that bury everything else.
Hotspur: It's the noise grave-diggers!!
Even when it's not shouting. Even when it's just a whisper.
Hotspur: Especially when it's being annoying.
Even the lowest whisper can be heard - -over armies
Azula: It's called a plea for mercy. It's heard but usually ignored.
... when it's telling the truth.
Hotspur: You can't handle the truth!
That is why we fight! We Are the Truth!
Hotspur: No, you are insane!
We are the people who make
Hotspur: Cookies? Make whoopee?
the grains and the iron!
Hotspur: Wow, so you are Gaia? Iron comes from the ground and so does grain. You mine one and harvest the other.
We will overthrow the government!
Jet: That's my line!
All working
Jet: Girls?
Men, Women, and Children unite!"
Hotspur: Quoting Karl Marx? At the rate this fic is doing, even Groucho Marx would be too intellectual for you.
announced a young teenager
Hotspur: Kids today!
reading from a newspaper
Hotspur: which didn't exist, considering the printing press hasn't been invented, so let's all notice the invisible non-existent paper. For curiosity's sake, what part of the newspaper is this? The funny pages?
that carried the word of Pheonix Arizona.
Hotspur: Phoenix Arizona? That's a location on earth. Besides, used in a fic, it sounds like a prophet of Ice tea. Phoenix shall rise again, with beverages.
A revolution is starting.
Hotspur: No, revulsion is starting.
Earthbender, Firebenders, Waterbenders, and Airbenders
Hotspur: Airbenders, who like the newspaper do not exist.
were joining together to rebel against the oppressive Fire Nation.
Hotspur: *starts singing Les Miserables* "Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and MIST with me? Somewhere beyond this Marxist fic, there is not plot that I can see!"
They took up arms, Klashnikovs and Galils,
Hotspur: Pretend semi-automatics, which were actually sticks of wood. Sorry Jet, no weapons of mass destruction for you. Jet: *pouts*
and bore the Communist sickle and hammer
Hotspur: Wow, and the list of non-existent items in this fic keeps growing.
over their faces to conceal their identity.
Hotspur: Sudden image of people wearing hammers and sickles over their faces, the metal objects clunking in their faces. Ozai: *points and laughs*
Young and Old joined in.
Hotspur: Young and Old being a law firm of ambulance chasers, following the doomed idiots in hopes of a nice wrongful death suit.
Pheonix and Zuko had a meeting with the royal family of the Fire Nation.
Hotspur: Yeah, a meeting with the execution block.
Both of them concealed their real faces
Hotspur: As opposed to their fake faces?
with Communist flags.
Zuko: I wear red. I'm prince of the Fire Nation. That doesn't make me a commie! I'm a royalist! Hence, the title prince!
Zuko picked up the Galil that Pheonix gave him on the 3rd anniversary of his banishment.
Zuko: Just what I wanted. A fishing stick so I can catch guppies. Pheonix: It's a Galil! You kill people with it. Zuko: It's a stick. Any sane person would see that. Pheonix: I can't even spell my name right and you expect sanity?
It was something special.
Zuko: Well, at least I can hit her with the stick.
He was a rebel.
Jet: I'm a rebel. He's the enemy. Get it straight.
A real Communist Revolution rebel fighting alongside the people whom he cares about.
Zuko: It's just a red uniform, it means I'm Fire Nation. And Hotspur, if you mention the word kibbutz one more time, I swear I'll fry you. Hotspur: Well, if you are communist, then you can hide on a socialist collective farm in Israel! Zuko: What part of the words Long Live the Monarchy don't you understand?
He had a uniform that fit his position better than the old Fire Nation Armor.
Hotspur: Toga. She takes dress lesson from Zhao! TOGA, TOGA!
Communist flag covering more than half her body
Hotspur: And a bullseye on the rest of it. Ready, Aim Fire!
leaving only her dominate hand, the right, free.
Hotspur: A straight-jacket will fix that!
But her angry piercing eyes could be seen a mile away.
Hotspur: Pheonix's previous line of work was being a lighthouse.
Pheonix put her hand on Zuko's shoulder and nodded to him as they walked into the Fire Nation Palace.
Hotspur begins a chant of: Dead man walking!
They walked up the stairs that led to the Fire Lord's War Room.
Guards: Aren't you banished? You know, like not supposed to be here? Pheonix: Earth logic? Why would that exist in my fic?
Azula , Zuko's half sister, rose and whispered something to Pheonix.
Azula: How many ways can I torture you before your mind breaks?
"The Fire Lord is blaming you for
Azula: The fall of IQ levels nationwide. He also says you stole the cookies from the cookie jar!
starting the revolution," she whispered and showed
Hotspur: us some lightning! Fry the Sue! Cajun style!
her Communist Flag that was
Hotspur: Being set on fire
hidden under her uniform
Hotspur: it was Azula's time of the month, hence the red cloth
and hid it again.
Azula: I love hide and go seek! You hide and I'll seek and destroy! Iroh: Now I understand why she'd bite the heads off her Barbies.
"You need not to worry about the Interhamwe.
Hotspur: Considering their weird name, they've been smoking too much of the same stuff the hippies are on
They are civil enough not to
Zuko: Fart Jet: Belch Azula: have messy hair Hotspur: Sing off key?
cause unnecessary violence," Pheonix reassured Azula.
Hotspur: Sure, terrorists are known for being civil and not causing unnecessary violence. Eats slice of pizza from Sbarro's. And why would no violence reassure Azula. Some people like carnage. *Looks at Jet* Jet: What? So a few hundred innocent people had to die, I would not call that being uncivil. I'm very civilized, I bathe once a week. And yes, fangirls, you may join me.
"There have been rumors
Hotspur: Rumors? Rumors of your demise? *looks hopeful* Jet: No, rumors about me and my revolution. Everyone fears me, not them.
about the Interhamwe?" Zuko asked
Hotspur: Wondering what the heck he did to deserve such character rape.
"Yes, Father is saying that the bomb that exploded last week was planted by the Interhamwe," Azula said.
Jet: Interhamwe? You mean I didn't even get credit for that liberation? Okay, now I'll be uncivilized. Azula: Ah, a clever ploy to get you to admit your crime. Guards, seize him!
The Interhamwe was the name of the army that the rebels named themselves.
Jet: Yeah, Hotspur is a law student and she showed me how to copyright the names Rebels and Freedom Fighters. Interhamwe was the best they could come up with.
They all knew that the Interhamwe was the name of the
Jet: A clown school reject?
Rwandan army, but they all felt like as if the Rwandan genocide was happening to them.
Hotspur: No, just the genocide of the Avatar fandom. (On a serious note, the Rwandan genocide isn't a joke, so stop using it in your fic. Also the Interhamwe was responsible for the massacres!)
"I don't think I can hold
Azula: my nose any longer. Get some deodorant.
out undercover very long,
Azula: A face like mine just can't be hidden
Father found the Manifesto in my room," Azula said
Ozai: Azula, how often must I tell you to ask before you borrow the "Joy of Cooking"?
"Tell him that you were just studying
Azula: Torture methods!
the reasons why the rebels are fighting," Zuko suggested
"I did," Azula replied.
Azula: Now I know how to roast them properly, starting with you!
"As much as I want to continue with
Hotspur: the Macarena?
this conversation,
Pheonix: I'm a floozy for attention
but I think the Fire Lord will make you
Hotspur: come to your senses by burning some intelligence into you?
if we don't start this "important" meeting," Pheonix implied.
Ozai: They RSVP-ed, they better not be late! My food will get cold.
Zuko and Azula nodded in agreement.
Zuko: Yeah, character rape sucks. I don't ever agree with you. Azula: You said it, Zuzu. Now hold still while I kill you for saying that.
Pheonix and zuko seated themselves in the War room.
Zuko: I love what you did to the decor! Very scary and imposing.
Zuko tried to hold back the urge to bow, as he was usually accustomed to.
Zuko: Instead, I shall cower. Father, spare me!
Pheonix, of coarse, refused to bow before a Fascist.
Ozai of course remedied that by reducing her to ashes. Joy!
****
Well, at least Pheonix has been introduced to the concept of the Auto de fe, being burned at the stake!
Redeeming Feature:
Well, besides the misspelling of Phoenix, decent grammar skills.
RAP SHEET:
~ Anachronism
~ OOC in ways you can't even imagine
~ Misspelling of a name
~ Historical blunders
~ The very existence of the fic
Pheonix dressed in her best, her dress with a Communist flag covering more than half her body leaving only her dominate hand, the right, free. But her angry piercing eyes could be seen a mile away.
