There are two things young female writers love to write. The first is their OC getting it on with their favorite character. The second is hawt boi love. This fic combines both to give us a uniquely shonen-ai tasting Mary Sue fic, and it's Sokka who's getting the shaft this time. Poor, poor guy.
Relax, this isn't like "the airbender and me", but I assure you the lesser rating does not equal lesser pain. Read on at your own peril!
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Secrets and Love by icebender21
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender is a product of Nickelodeon
BF: And this fic could be a product of the author's lower intestine.
made by some people who are not me!
BF: People with talent and vision!
Please don't sue 'cuz I don't have anything worth suing
BF: Maybe Mary Suing, but not regular suing,
for except this old computer and I don't think you'd want it
BF: It's riddled with bad fics.
and if you did what on earth would you do with this old thing?
BF: Personally? I'd use it as a stool. Or a paperweight.
Summary: SLASH!
BF: And burn!
SokkaxOC.
BF: Sokka gets it on with a Mary Sue with a penis (not to be confused with a Gary Stu here, folks, there's a difference)? What did I do to deserve this?
During his high school years,
BF: AKA Junior Prison Ward.
all Sokka ever wanted was
BF: His two front teeth, his two front teeth, yes, his two front teeth! All he wants for Avatar Day is his two front teeeeeeeth! So he can wish you Merry Avatar Day~!
someone who would listen to him.
BF: God knows, no one commented on his blog.
(Sokka, outraged) I spent a whole PARAGRAPH ranting about the consistency of whale blubber and NO ONE has an answer?!
His wish came true
BF: He became a real boy!
(Sokka, pointing to his crotch) I'm already ALL REAL, baby.
when he met a boy named Akira.
BF: His psychokenetic powers freaked him out a little, but Sokka eventually got over that.
But a week before his birthday Sokka's feelings for Akira develop into something more than friendship.
BF: (ominously) They had become...BFF.
Warning: This story is a Yaoi fic,
BF: (remembers "the airbender and me" fic) Uh-oh.
meaning boyxboy, if you don't like this sort of thing
BF: Wait...bad fics or yaoi? I'm a little unclear.
why don't you hit that lovely backspace button on your keyboard
BF: Um, maybe you could hit that lovely backspace button on your fic?
and find a non-yaoi story or something.
BF: Meh, I've shot up enough het fics in my day. Time to expand my horizon of destruction.
Anyway this is you only chance to turn back.
BF: (tempted) I could just walk away...(slaps self) What am I saying? Allow this fic to go on unpunished? BLASPHEMY!
Akira (A.K.A. Default Chapter)
Sokka's POV
Have you ever had
BF: to make up your mind?
friends that seem to take you for granted all the time?
BF: (Rhinox) All the time, baby. ALL the time.
I know my friends don't mean to, but
BF: (Sokka) They always wake me up in the rudest ways! Rock pummelings, fake snakes in my bed...you think they would realize all I need is a gentle push!
it happens to me all the time. It really sucks
BF: "Sucks"? I'm picking up subtle foreshadowing for our yaoi fic...
'cuz I always get this left out feeling whenever we do stuff together.
BF: (Sokka) It's like they totally ignore my witticisms!
Anyway, I'm Sokka Umino,
BF: Umino? Like "Eeeny, meeny, umino, mo"?
age 15. I'm in the tenth grade and I attend Ba Sing Se High School.
BF: Where the propagandized education is FREE!
Usually, my day goes like this:
BF: Shitty.
I wake up at like six-thirty in the morning,
BF: Rising ominously from his coffin in a cloud of dust!
shower, get dressed, eat breakfast with my sister,
BF: Or rather, eats her breakfast for her.
walk to school with my three friends
BF: Stretch, Stinky, and Fatso?
who include my sister,
BF: Relatives don't count.
(Sokka) Well, that scratches GranGran off the list.
go to my first three classes,
BF: Potions, Herbology, and Transfiguration.
eat lunch,
BF: Or rather, eats everyone's lunch for them.
go to my last three classes,
BF: Underwater Basket Weaving, Animal Whispering, and the most useless class ever, Advanced Calculus.
walk home with my friends,
BF: What, Appa couldn't pick them up?
(Appa) I HAVE a life outside chauffeuring, you know.
and get ready to do it all over again the next day.
BF: Wow. That is INTENSELY boring.
(Sokka) I'm ready to go back to fighting the Fire Nation now.
But today was different.
BF: Today was Ketchup and Rice day at school.
(Sokka) My stomach!
Today was the day that I met him.
BF: His Maker?
(Sokka) Okay, Mike and Bryan, so far you guys have been pretty good to me, but can you stop putting my love interests in mortal peril?
Akira Kurata was his name.
BF: Known to his friends as the Kurata Kid.
He was part of my sister Katara's study group for chemistry class.
BF: (Aang) I must bring balance...to the chemical equation!
(Katara) Are you even in our GRADE?
I bumped into him one day when he
BF: Stuck his ass out at me.
was kitchen getting food for everyone. I was frustrated because I couldn't figure out how to do my geometry homework.
BF: They guy who helps engineer hot air balloons couldn't do his geometry homework. Uh-HUH.
I guess he heard me groaning because he walk over to me and told me how to do it step by step.
BF: Wait...was this supposed to be the erotic scene between the two?
"Think of geometry as another English class.
BF: Yeah. Coz math and English are exactly alike!
(Sokka) Except Hamlet doesn't fit very nicely into the Pythagorean Theory!
There are a lot of things to remember." he told me.
BF: Like keeping your fingers out of sockets.
(Akira) How about people? Do I have to keep my fingers out of them too?
After that we just started talking about stuff we both liked.
BF: Slacking off huh? Your Study Group sounds like a Duddy Group! (long, pained silence) ...What?
Video games, manga, movies, etc.
BF: (Sokka) What?! YOU like inventing too? Awesome!
(Akira) Yeah, and I also like Princess Yue!
(Sokka) ...Okay, not cool.
We became really fast friends
BF: Well, once Sokka's initial suspicions died down.
(Sokka) Are you SURE you're not Fire Nation? You have to tell me if you are!
and everything was going fine until the day Azula Hayama
BF: Uh, is Akito going to be OKAY with you molesting his last name, Azula?
(Azula) I hardly care. I have claimed it for the glory of the Fire Nation!
transferred in along with her brother.
BF: Poor guy. Stuck in a crappy fic with Azula.
(Zuko) Actually, it's a nice break not being the object of affection for once!
Her brother, Zuko, was actually nice to us all,
BF: Um...define "nice" for Zuko.
(Author) Not actively trying to kill the characters.
but for some reason Azula always seemed to have a problem with Akira and me.
BF: Azula must be the one with sense enough to know a bad OC when she sees one.
It didn't become a problem until the day she came up to us and said...
BF: (Azula) Yo mama is so fat, Sokka, she uses your boomerang as a belt!
"Sokka, why do you insist on hanging out with this loser?
BF: Leave it to Azula to ask the BURNING questions!
In case you forgot,
BF: In case you CARE,
I'm student council president." she said with that stupid little smirk of hers.
BF: The stupid smirk that indicates a painful death to follow?
She spoke really loud too,
BF: I don't think the folks in Alaska heard her.
just to make sure the entire cafeteria heard.
BF: What? It's not like Akira being a loser is a secret. It's like Zuko/Aang: everyone knows it exists, but says nothing.
She walked away back to her snobby friends, Mai and Ty Lee.
BF: I thought they were her lesbian lovers?
What she said didn't really bother me 'cuz to me, Azula's just a bitch who craves attention and finds gratification by putting those around her down.
BF: Sorta like how the author finds gratification putting Azula and Co. down!
Akira, on the other hand, looked a little upset. I tried asking him why, but he just said that
BF: The fic was taking a turn for the dumb.
he'd better be getting home soon.
BF: (Akira) Can't miss my Fire Nation soap opera "As The Candle Burns"!
It's been a month since that day and we've still remained good friends. I don't know why,
BF: Yeah, me neither.
but Akira sometimes blushes whenever talk to him about certain stuff.
BF: Like about his creator.
(Akira) Can we just not raise the subject? It's embarrassing.
Oh, and before I forget, don't read this story then flame cuz I'll just ignore.
BF: Is MiSTing cool? Not like it matters now.
You should have read the warning.
BF: The Surgeon General mandates all bad fics come with labels warning of the health risks involved.
I really wanted to hold off on this fic until my digimon story
BF: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, this author writes DIGIMON fics. That explains SO MUCH in the bad writing and yaoi department.
was finished, but the ideas just kept coming and coming!!!!
BF: And cumming and cumming, in the case of this yaoi fic.
The first five reviewers get cookies and cake made Akira Kurata. Isn't that wonderful?
BF: Uhhhh...is that "lame" wonderful or "hernia" wonderful you're speaking of?
I got Azula, Zuko, and Akira's last name from the characters from Kodocha.
BF: Yeah, THERE'S a gem of the manga world.
Y'know, Sana Kurata and Akito Hayama.
BF: Couldn't you have thought up names yourself? (thinks a moment) Well, knowing some of the names ficcers come up with, maybe this IS for the best.
Sokka and Katara's last name is the same as Iruka's from Naruto.
BF: Oh, leave Iruka ALONE! Wasn't him being an orphan bad enough?
***
After reading this chapter, I can only assume later chapters would include more mindlessly fluffy affection I doubt even the GAYEST of gay men would enjoy. Let's take a look at this fic's ratings and sees where it falls!
Redeeming Feature:
For once, it wasn't Zuko! Normally, Zuko is the butt-end (haha) of most gay Avatar jokes, but he wasn't the object of gaydom this time, which is refreshing to me!
Rap Sheet:
~Truly, is it THAT hard to come up with names you have to steal from Kodocha? What gives, yo?
~Akira's telekinesis. Why does he need this? Why? I can only think of two possible reasons the author would include this, and neither bode well: either Akira is going to have an angsty breakdown that will cause his telekinesis to go crazy and Sokka will have to fight through it to give Akira a bearhug that will instant cure him of all his little worries...or it's going to be used for some seriously kinky sex. Or both, even worse.
~Sometimes the dialog and inner thoughts make me shake my head. Mostly as a result of me trying to kick-start my brain into functioning again after reading some of those lines.
I remember the time when Aang made captain of the soccer team
and Akira talked me and the others into baking a cake for him.
I never knew Akira was such a good baker.
