Introduction: I came across this fic one day and couldn't believe it. It claims to be an Avatar fic, but with modern instruments, "deadly" ninjas, and all the canon characters gone crazy, it's a swirling mess of stupidity. Read on if you dare to have your brain cells dead... or your side split. Whatever serves you as the best.


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Chapter One

I keep having these weird dreams...

k226: Right. Every fic has to have a weird dream in it.

It's about a girl...

k226: Ah, so it's a perverted dream.

She screams in pain or in joy... I can't tell...

k226: Of course she's in pain. Everyone reading this story should be in pain.
Girl: Get me away from this stupid fic!

I can't move in the dream it's like I'm chained...

k226: Episode Two of the Perverted Dream: BONDAGE!
Tokan: Hey! These chains are invisible!

And when she stops screaming... she walks to me and it ends...

Girl: (to Tokan) I couldn't stand the stupidity any more, so I killed you.

Every dream it gives me more detail on what she's wearing...

k226: Or rather what she's *not* wearing.
Girl: I'm a sexy mama!

Well let me tell you how Tokan's life began.

k226: It was quite easy to tell. Everybody knows about the miracle of childbirth.

He was 11 when everything started.

Tokan's Father: You won't believe it! The baby is eleven years old!

"Tokan!" yelled his mother. Tokan swung his head around and looked at his mother.

k226: Our park needs a new swing. Let's use Tokan's head!

"Remember to come right home when you're done shopping for me. You know how

k226: quickly the cheap panties sell at the market!"

your father gets when you make him wait for too long." He nodded and ran ahead into the market.

Tokan: I'm going to run ahead to the market with no distraction at all. Hey, a horsie!

A few hours later Tokan was already training with his dad shooting fireballs back and forth at each other.

Tokan's Dad: (thinking) He doesn't know I'm trying to set his original character-ness on fire, does he?

"That's enough for today Tokan. You don't want to tire out your old man do you?" "I guess not." said Tokan and smiled at his father.

Tokan: He doesn't know that I'm secretly plotting to send an army of mutant ninjas on him. WAHHAhAHAHAHAHA!
Tokan's Dad: What was that, son?
Tokan: Hehehe, nothing.

"It's time for dinner!" yelled his mother out the window for them.

After dinner

Tokan's mother and father had left for a walk in the village.

k226: Actually, they were trying to escape from the storyline.

A half-hour later Tokan then told his friends to come over quickly and bring their instruments.

k226: It's a wonder that he has any friends at all.

A few minutes later they were set up and playing.

k226: Because all of his friends were imaginary, it took no time at all.

I blew my temper again
and I shot it at you again
I now we had some rough times
andnow we've gone astray from the lines
but sometime we'll be free from each other

k226: I wish we were free from this fic.

and now i'm back for you, and now your in the arms of another
NO! its ok I understand you don't care for my any longer

k226: We never did care for your "my".

and don't worry I am much, muchstronger

Tokan: I'm so muchstronger!

and finally i can rest inpeace

k226: You mean you're dead? (Whole world cheers.)

away from your deceits

Soon it attracted the whole village

k226: Actually, it was more of an angry mob. Angry, because Tokan's lame singing made all the windows break, and a mob, becuase they were all plotting to kill him and his imaginary friends.

and they were dancing outside his house. They stopped and they heard cheering outside of the house. They looked out of the window and waved

k226: Only to be destroyed by a grenade that an old man had thrown at them.

Soon after his friends left, his parents came home.

k226: I pity them.

A few years later "I'm 14 now! Why can't I go?" argued Tokan with his father.

Tokan's Father: We're taking the route with the most girls, and the men don't want to be seen with a butt ugly wildebeest.

"I don't think you're ready yet!" yelled his father back at him.

k226: Yes, he's ready to be sacrificed to the rain god. DO IT! DO IT!

"You never think I'm ready for the hunt!" said Tokan and then ran off into the forest. "You know you should go after him. I'll go with you." said Tokan's mother and they both left the house and into the wilderness.

k226: They were actually trying to find another escape route out of the fic, but the author does not find it necessary to include that.

They finally found Tokan crying on a stump and brought him home but, when they got to the door his mother and father stumbled and fell on the ground. They had been hit.

k226: It turns out that the old man who threw the grenade at Tokan was back for revenge.

Tokan now was crying more than ever. "tokan... tokan." his father very weakly said. Tokan slowly crawled over to him "yes father... ?"

Tokan's Father: Always remember... that you're an idiot...
k226: I second that!

"take this." His father handed him a bandana and the katana with the misshapen handle and the half red blade. He took the weapon and his father died.

k226: Tokan's mother was very well alive, but he didn't give a heck.
Tokan's Mother: HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE SACRED FEMININE!?!?!?

Tokan slowly stood up, put on the bandana and saw three water tribe ninja's jump from the trees and to the ground.

Tokan: They look hot in those black bodysuits. *drools*
Ninjas: Actually, little boy, we're men.

He took off his shirt threw it to the ground and ran at them and tried to swing at them.

k226: It's perfectly reasonable to throw off your shirt, leaving your bare chest out in the open for others to hit.

They easily dodged and slashed Tokan all over his body he couldn't do anything to stop them and they finally slashed at his eye creating his future scar.

Zuko (to Tokan) We're SCAR BUDDIES!!!

Tokan was now bleeding furiously and could barely stand but, something in him just pushed to keep going and he charged at the ninja's again with his last bit of might and they whirl winded around him, yet amazingly Tokan anticipated and blocked every one of their moves and all of a sudden his eyes glowed like fire and he smirked and made three slashes in three different place and turned his back.

k226: Those three slashes were each landed on each ninja's... umm... you know.
Ninjas: I don't think it's necessary to include that!

The ninja's fell dead on the ground and Tokan blacked out.

k226: It's about time, that little weakling.

A few hours later
He awoke to find himself in a barracks of some sort with Fire nation soldier armor next to where he was lieing.

k226: Tokan felt it important to make conversation with it.
Tokan: Excuse me, do you know where the potty is?

"All soldiers report outside." said the voice from the speakers.

k226: It's amazing how speakers were invented so early in the world.

Tokan ran outside and saw other soldiers surrounding someone. He walked closer with everyone else and got to see the person's face. He had a fire mark on the left side of his face.

k226: Yes, that's right. Every member of the fire nation must have the word FIRE stamped onto the left side of his face.

The person started to talk. "My name is Prince Zuko and I am your commanding officer. Whatever I say you will do without question.Soldier Kwan will have a rolecall now."

k226: Experienced only in ice-skating, however, Michelle Kwan promptly started skating around on deck, forgetting all about the rolecall.

Thenthe soldierstarted to read a list of names. "Kevkik... " "here!" "Jakkie... " "here!" "Tokan... " "... " "Tokan!"

The soldier found Tokan in Zuko's porn stash.

"... ." "TOKAN!""What is going on out here!" yelled Zuko

*Tokan is reading a magazine from the porn stash* I dunno!

"There is a Tokan on the list but, nobody's answering." "I'll take care of this." Grumbled Zuko "Who here is Tokan!" screamed Zuko

k226: Zuko screams? Like a girl?

There was a dead silence and then Tokan slowly raised his

butt

hand. Zuko ran up to Tokan and screamed and yelled in his face. "What is your problem? What are you a mute?"

Tokan: What am I a?

Tokan just stood there not saying anything. After just witnessing his family die before his eyes he might not speak to anyone for a long time.

*after five seconds.* Hello, everyone! *starts being a blabbermouth*

For the next two years he climbed his way up the ranks to a commander with his own ship and crew. He also grew to actually become friends with Zuko.

k226: *rubs eyes* Did I hear that right? FRIENDS WITH ZUKO?! *is dead.*

A few days later Tokan started having the dreams about the girl and he realized it couldn't be his mother, this girl was wearing lightblue clothing. Who is this girl and what does she have to do with Tokan?

k226: This girl has to do with Tokan because she is going to murder him. (And will kill him again in later chapters.)


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I don't know what to say. Personally, I am shocked to think that this fanfiction actually has two good reviews. The only canon character introduced is Zuko, and even then he is totally out of character. In conclusion, I sincerely hope your brain cells failed you and you slipped into a coma at the very beginning, so you wouldn't have to read all of this horrible fic.


Reedeeming Qualities:
The dialogue is OK... for the most part.

RAP SHEET:

~The grammar and spelling is bad, and the words stuck together can be annoying.
~No canon characters are introduced except Zuko, who is horribly out of character.
~The story goes too quickly. Does it expect readers to believe that Tokan can become a commander in a few days? Certainly not!
~The Gary Stu. End of discussion.
~Tokan makes friends with Zuko and reaches the rank of commander at age 16! He even has his own ship and crew. Highly unrealistic.




Credits

"The Silence" by SonadowX
MiSTed by Katara226
MiSTing concept by Best Brains Inc.

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"For the next two years he climbed his way up the ranks to a commander with his own ship and crew. He also grew to actually become friends with Zuko."